During that time I spent many hours in his room, holding his hand through the little plastic house, talking softly and telling him stories, and finding gentle ways to share my love in those four walls of a hospital. But it occurred to me one day that I couldn't think of any lullabies to sing to him. None of the sweet songs my mother sang to me would come into mind, and even the songs from church we sing on a weekly basis just weren't there.
But there was one special song that ran through my mind over and over. I would sing it to him, hum it through my tears, and think about each and every word as they flowed.
Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright….
This song is usually reserved for the cold weather months of December when we celebrate the birth of Jesus, but it brought me so much comfort during those warmer dog days of summer.
Holy infant so tender and mild….
Our little Ethan was not only tender; he was fragile. His skin was so thin at birth, you could see through it. His lungs so premature, he used a ventilator for a month. His arms and legs were no bigger than my index finger. His entire hand fit into Landon's wedding ring.
And I was scared for my baby. I thought about Mary, the mother of Jesus, so much during that time. Though she'd been visited by the angel Gabriel who told her not to be afraid, surely she must have had her moments when tears poured from her eyes, her stomach turned in knots, and the fear went all the way to her bones.
Son of God, Love's pure light...
The youngest years of Jesus life are largely unaccounted for in the Bible. Wouldn't it have been incredible to see those years through Mary's eyes? She saw his first smile. She listened as he cooed. He held her finger as he took his first steps. She celebrated all of his baby milestones just as any mother does.
God gives us babies to get a glimpse of His incredible miracle. In our family, we've had two miracles with the births of our sons. Every baby is a special miracle. But we literally watched as Ethan developed inside that his little plastic house for those eight weeks, just as he would have in the womb. What an incredible experience to view that miraculous transformation before our eyes.
Sleep in heavenly peace…..
But the greatest miracle of all came that night, over 2,000 years ago, in Bethlehem when a baby's cry pierced the night air, prophecy was fulfilled, and Jesus was born to save us all. Because of that truly incredible miracle so long ago, I could rock my baby in that NICU without fear, without despair, and experience love's pure light.
Jesus, Lord at thy birth; Jesus, Lord at thy birth.
(For those who read my column in the Taylor Newspapers, this will be a repeat from the Dec. 22 edition!)
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