This afternoon I gave Ethan a bath in his hospital room, rubbed him down with lotion, wrapped him in a warm blanket, and sat down to attempt to bottle feed him, which is a task he hasn't quite mastered. Preemies aren't born with the "suck, swallow, breathe" reflex coordinated. They can suck, swallow, and breathe, but not all at once.
After a minute or two of trying him with the bottle, his body went limp, the color out of his face, milk poured out of his mouth, and alarms started sounding to alert the nurses to come help. We repeated this scene about three times in 10 minutes. It's "perfectly normal" for preemies to experience these apnea and bradycardia attacks, but that still doesn't keep this mama from feeling scared, sad, and helpless in those moments.
But those trained, skilled nurses came to his rescue in such a calm, gentle manner. They were reassuring and tender in their approach, and now an hour later he is breathing steadily, has a full belly (through the feeding tube), and is sound asleep.
Surely God looks down at us sometimes and wonders when we're going to get the "suck, swallow, breathe" reflex. He feeds us the best quality, nutrient rich, life saving formula that is filled with love, joy, peace, and all of the other good stuff. Yet we choke and sputter on it, sometimes even forgetting to breathe when He is offering us food.
Our immature hearts must grow and develop in order to take what He gives us, allowing us to become the men and women of God that He created us to be.Someday soon our little baby is going home with us and on that day he'll be eating from a bottle like a champ. And at some point he'll move on to regular milk, baby foods, and eventually join us at the dinner table with our own home cooked meals.
We've had baby foods, milk, and solids, but there are moments in this season of life where we must close our eyes, fully trust God, and remember to "suck, swallow, and breathe."
i hope i get to join your beautiful family someday for one of those home cooked meals.
ReplyDeletebeautiful, jenny.
suck, swallow and breathe baby ethan. love you, little man.
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God didn't bring us this far to leave us without air. This little guy is just trying to get everything sorted out in this life, and sometimes it calls for a bit of a crisis. As I look at his picture, I see a peaceful little boy who simply needs some time as he ponders the big world that he hasn't even seen yet. He's much like his big brother and father in that he doesn't like too much pressure. So, his MeeMaw and PawPaw will add our prayers and every ounce of support we can provide --- to little Ethan, and to the mother who tonight has an aching heart but such a beautiful way with words that will encourage everyone who reads them.
ReplyDeleteYes, getting into the s,s,b rhythm is pretty difficult for preemies. But he'll get there. And we'll enjoy your future posts from home about how chubby he's getting.
ReplyDeleteBTW, this is a very sweet picture.